When I answered the phone,
I don’t recall ever feeling more alone.
My mother’s voice on the end,
“Your dad just passed away” she said.
I walked into my room, pacing in the dark.
‘How could this be?’ to myself I asked.
It was like nothing I ever felt; empty and hollow.
Why did this happen, I never felt so much sorrow.
And then if things couldn’t get worse,
My younger siblings asked me what felt like the most dreadful question in the universe.
“Did dad die” they said
These words I will never forget.
The look on their innocent face,
From my mind I can never erase.
So much pain, so much worry,
I was told to lie to them “no don’t be stupid” I felt so sorry
For the pain that was about to come,
Was only the beginning, especially for my mum.
After that day, the house was filled with family and friends,
Promising that they would be there till the end.
I think that’s the thing that made me grow up so quickly
Empty promises that were made insincerely.
From a young age I knew,
Life was not easy. Why? I had no clue
Was it because nobody kept their promise?
Why couldn’t they just be honest?
Don’t lie to a child,
They will always remember the betrayal that made them feel exiled
Cut off from the world, feeling hopeless and tired.
I was thirteen when my life took a turn,
That’s when I knew I had to be more firm.
To protect myself and my family,
Everything happened so rapidly.
But more distress was still to come.
Then the funeral arrived, how I felt so numb.
Now you lay there dear father,
I miss you more, every year it gets harder.
May your grave be filled with light,
I pray to God that we will reunite
In the best place off all,
Created by God Himself, named Janat al Firdaws.
-This is the vague but true story of what happened when I found out my father passed away. I don’t think I’ve shared it more than a few people before as its quite personal. But I’m kind of anonymous here, so it’s a good way to get things out of system. Thanks for reading 💙