One of the most significant times in a person’s life is marriage, and yet sometimes I wonder whether people get married to start a family or throw a wedding party.
I will never understand why people spend thousands and thousands of dollars on a wedding. Whether it’s from an Islamic view or not, I just don’t get it. Yes, it’s an amazing celebration, but there are people with average salaries that blow all their life savings on one day. And on top that, they’re paying it off for another few years. I am talking Muslim weddings, ranging from 20 thousand to a hundred thousand dollars. That money could be spent helping the poor and needy- which is essentially building their akhira, but instead they spend it on this extravagant wedding in order to please people whom they don’t even like or socialise with. (And let’s face it, as a ‘wog’ or an Arab, you’re expected to invite your sisters’ husbands’ cousins’ uncle in which you only ever see once a year..!)
Not to mention all the haram that takes place on what’s supposed to be a blessed day. Free mixing, music, extravagant spending. Why would anyone want to start off their marriage disobeying Allah? “Oh but we’re in the 21st century”,”It’s not a big deal”, “it’s just one day”, it’s tradition!”… All this effort to make it seem like it’s normal or okay.
Some people are so consumed about their wedding day plans, they almost forget why they are getting married. They spend months, sometimes years planning the ‘perfect’ wedding and engagement. Two big events, over within hours. Yet so much time, effort, money, and planning has gone into them. For what? To announce your marriage? To please people you see only on Eid?
It’s almost funny, when you tell people that you want to conduct your marriage ceremony in the most simple way; a Walima at a Mosque, they think that you are out of your mind because you aren’t following your cultures tradition. Unfortunately, because of families disagreeing with young couples, and putting a huge amount of pressure on them- they end up compromising and end up having a traditional wedding. I’ve seen this happen. This way, the family is happy and the couple doesn’t have to hear their nagging anymore, the family feels like they have ‘properly’ celebrated their child’s wedding because they were able to get up and dance. At what cost? Are they going to save you on the day of Judgement when there is no help, but the help and shade of Allah SWT.
We need to change our priorities. We are so consumed by the dunya that we forget that this life is only temporary. It’s hard when your family is upset at you and they don’t understand you, but don’t compromise your Deen because of them. Allah always comes first, it is only Him that is able to forgive you, it is only Allah that determines your hereafter. So don’t give in. May Allah make it easy for us to speak with our families gently when they disagree with us. May Allah make it easy for us to be calm with them, and keep good relations whilst at the same time, not making any compromises to our religion, Ameen.