I felt something I’ve never felt before. I felt like I belonged. I felt inspired, weak yet strong. I felt relieved, safe, and almost invincible. I felt all these things and more, words cannot even describe. But then it left, and it broke my heart into pieces. Also something I’ve never felt before. I’ve never been so attached. And I have to wait to experience the feelings again. Chances are, I may never see the day.
What I’m describing is not a break up with a person or a material thing. Rather, it is one of the greatest things that Allah has blessed us with in this world. It is the month of Ramadan. I have practised Ramadan for so long, but this time, I truly embraced it. I welcomed it with open arms, and in return, it made me feel at peace- like never before.
It’s almost impossible to describe the impact it had on my spirituality. Ramadan gave me something extremely powerful and I can’t thank Allah enough for allowing me to experience the sweetness of this blessed month. It almost feels as though I’ve lost a loved one, that’s how sad I am about it coming to an end.
I really miss it, I miss praying taraweeh even though my feet were aching, I miss praying qiyam even though my eyes were slowly closing. I miss the feeling of being United almost every night at the mosque. I miss praying to my Lord the Most Merciful, seeking His forgiveness. Prayer feels so much better in Ramadan. It reminds you how weak your are, that you have to rely on The Ever Providing for everything.
I wish I had truly embraced it all those years. But I can’t dwell on it, rather I pray that I welcome every Ramadan the way I did this year, and make the most of it. I pray that every Muslim does the same. I pray that we live our lives the way we live Ramadan; to practice patience, pray more, read more Qur’an, give more charity, trust and praise Allah more, guard our tongues and be nicer to the people around us. How much of a better place would the world be? How much easier would our lives be? How much at ease would our hearts be knowing we have more of a chance to receive Allah’s shade on the day of Judgement? The day where nothing else will matter, but your deeds and good character.